Mum always want the best for us...

I confide in my mum and aunt about the problems that I have and yes they might give simple answer but it means a lot to me. They say if the gal is for me and she really do accept me the way I am she will understand why I did what I did. And as a human we must not be selfish and narrow minded...we must always try to put ourselves in others' shoes and see from their point of view also.

And yes misunderstanding after misunderstanding happen...human makes mistakes and normally small mistakes, so we just have to forgive and move on...if people already hate us, what I was taught is to let them be because Allah never ever hate us for whatever crime we did. And if it is just because of a small mistake others hate us then they just cannot accept that we human makes mistakes and maybe they need time.

And yes I lie to someone that I did not accidentally "terlelap" while talking to her and when it happen the second time while talking to her...she put down the phone. I lie because I just don't want the conversation to stop. Guys I did lie but honestly I lie because my intention is good to continue talking...if I was really sleeping I wouldn't know she had put down the phone and straight away I sms her. But honestly I always pray for her to be a better person, to be less hot tempered and hope she can lead a happy life with whoever she likes because I know there are at least 2 more guys who are interested in her. I can live a single life like it use to be in the past 1 year.

And yes I do sometime need emotional love as I can live without physical/sexual love. If I can withstand and be discipline for the past 28 years of not doing anything sexual,why not now? Yes I am going to be a 30 year old virgin soon...haha but what the heck...I have always been the minority...why would I follow the crowd when the crowd are basically doing the wrong thing.

Anyway yes my mum did say if she is the one I am interested in - do really love me, she will accept me the way I am. If not it is either I am just not her type or she is more interested in someone else. If she do then I pray for her happiness because if I really do have feelings for her I just want her to be happy and lead a meaningful life. Because of her I have gone through "volcano eruption", " tornado" and "earthquake" but currently after the "earthquake" it is like becoming a "tsunami". Can I survive in this kind of friendship/relationship...honestly only Allah knows.